Argentine youths terrorized by… (wait, is this right?)

How many horror movies begin just like this?

A group of teenage boys.

Innocently hanging around, chatting.

About a recent fishing trip.

At one in the morning.

Scary as it may be for you, sitting in front of your computer in the safety of your home (or office if you’re slacking off at work). But for Jose Alvarez and his three amigos in General Guemes, Argentina, it was the beginning of a nightmare they could only find the strength to overcome by selling their footage to world-class British tabloid, The Sun.

Wait. That’s it?? How hard is it to keep your thumb on the record button while you’re either a) running like a sissie or b) having your entrails gnawed on by an illtempered, rock throwing leprechaun? Sheesh. Rookies.

Having done the bare minimum amount of clicking around the Internet that qualifies as ‘doing research’, it seems gnome sightings aren’t without precedent in Argentina or South America at large.

Says Cryptomundo, either by design or coincidence on March 17th, by the way:

South America, traditionally, has been populated by little hairy cryptids (Proto-Pygmies), as mentioned here. The 1950s’ reports of Latino ufonauts merge into beings who were often little and hairy. Does this gnome come out of this same background? It certainly seems like a hefty little one.

What I can figure out is why everyone’s singling out the gnomes as the prime suspects in this case? This is the worst case of stereotype profiling I’ve seen since, well… since the last time I was stopped by the MTA police in the subway (aka, last Tuesday) during rush hour so they could prove that they not only searched people who just look like terrorists, they also search bald white guys that sometimes wear ties, thereby proving that they couldn’t possibly be conducting racial profiling.

But that’s a rant for another day.

Back on topic, there are lots of people that wear pointy hats. Some are even short. Some walk with distinctive swaggers. So you see, it’s not just the gnomes, you backwater, gnomist hillbillies.


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